


Abandon the game

by Iolanfg



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20377111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolanfg/pseuds/Iolanfg
Summary: Mycroft is tired and writes a farewell letter to Greg.Implicit suicide, please don't read if it affects you.





	Abandon the game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InnerSpectrum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerSpectrum/gifts).

> Everything belongs to Doyle, Gatiss and Moffat.  
I repeat: this story is a suicide letter, please don't read if it affects you. Mycroft is wrong, life is a team game, even if sometimes it seems like we are alone. Just look around.  
Written for the Facebook group Mystrade is our division Writters and Readers: a fic with the word Game.  
English is not my first language, this was translated with the translator Deepl, I am sorry for any error.  
A thousand thanks to InnerSpectrum again for their fantastic gift, Mycroft's handwritten letter, the tear on the last H is simply moving, it's at the end of the story.

"My dear Gregory:  
You once accused me of using others as puppets. Our last discussion, remember?  
But life is not a play, in which each one plays a role and we all know who is who, there is no script to cling to, knowing what each character will do, there is no "happily ever after".  
Life is a game, a mixture of strategy and chance. It has its rules. And I tried to follow them. I really do. The problem is that the rules are changing. Or that everyone has their own, and the only way to keep playing the game is to skip yours sometimes.  
Yes, I have played and manipulated the players. But in the end that's what it's all about. Either you move, or others do the moves for you. I feel if it sounds cold.  
I've spent my whole life watching the board, strategizing, making decisions, and trying to figure out what others would do.  
I've tried, believe it or not, to hurt as few people as possible along the way.  
But it's inevitable, we're not alone in the game and, one way or another, there will always be someone who gets hurt, did I tell you about the Butterfly Effect? It is what has to be the one who has to make decisions.  
Many times I have won. At one price, don't kid yourself, everything has a price. Once I felt like an absolute winner. With Eurus safe, my family quiet, Sherlock safe and you resting in my arms. Of all that I got in this life, you really were my only prize, unexpected, of course, undeserved, no doubt, a gift of fate.   
I should have known that it wouldn't be so easy, that the game is infinite, and that there are always more movements.  
Many times I have lost, and things have not turned out as I had planned. And the price has been even higher.  
Not only lives, but also fragments of my soul.  
I can assume the consequences. At least before I could.  
No, that's a lie. I can take the consequences. I can assume that I have been defeated. I can assume that my "solutions" brought a lot of chaos and pain. I can assume that I lost my position if that's what they want, I can assume that I lost my family, I can assume that I lost you.  
All lives end, all hearts break.  
We all lose, at some point.  
I can move on with that. It would hurt, yes, but the world wouldn't end with that.  
The great revelation, the great discovery, is that, while I was observing and planning, I forgot the most important thing: the great game of life only makes sense if you're enjoying it.  
It's what you do, making decisions, taking risks, enjoying victories and learning from defeats. I could never do it. I've just been observing and planning. Just like I was taught to play.  
I wanted to control not only my own board, but that of others. And no matter how good or bad the intentions. It's the result that counts.  
The result was disastrous for many people.  
I told you I can take defeat. That's not a problem. The thing is that I realized that I stopped enjoying the game years ago. If ever I did.  
I've told you that life is an infinite game, but it's not true either. Of course, it never stops, there are always new strategies, new players. The game starts the moment you're born, that's true, but you can decide when it ends.  
And today I realised that I'm tired. It's been really exhausting, and I've never noticed it before.  
Today I clean my board and leave the game, but I didn't want to do it without thanking you for the time we shared, your breath in each defeat, never a solitary player could dream of having a better partner.  
I hope life will only give you good hands from now on.  
Please continue to enjoy the game.  
M.H."


End file.
